Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I am one with the molecules
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize