love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
