Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
