Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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