your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
