Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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