it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize