Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
