Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
