I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
