i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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