"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
two words...techno handjob
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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