You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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