Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
