I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
