Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
