We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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