He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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