Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
