He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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