he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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