You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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