your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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