Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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