But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
