wrigley field is MILF paradise
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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