do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
