my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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