just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
