I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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