so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
