i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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