High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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