I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
