Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
