I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize