So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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