five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
