As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
