i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
