he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
