.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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