fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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