Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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