butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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