What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
