Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
