Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
