Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
