The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
