I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
