D3 body, D1 cock
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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