fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize