I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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