Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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