I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
