This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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