i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
