you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
