I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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