I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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