Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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