the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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