white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
