As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
