And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
