Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
