why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
