I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
