why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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