I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
