Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The Olympian is in my bed
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
