we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
