How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
