just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Panties = found
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize