OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
