There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this will be a night to untag.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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