I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
