i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
