He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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