Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
