I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
